Schooled by a 17 Year Old
It’s graduation week! My daughter Lauren graduates high school this week and I am feeling all the feels. Joy - Stress - Excitement - Sadness - Fun - Anticipation - Anxiety - you name it…I’m feeling it.
But,the greatest of all the feels right now is PRIDE!
Lauren has given Matt and me SO MANY REASONS to be proud (her sense of humor, kindness, work ethic, smarts, beauty, athleticism, just to name a few). Then in true Larry fashion (Larry’s our fun nickname for her), she surprised us recently with another attribute to add to her list…her ability to essentially coach a room full of adults. And, I believe her lesson is worth sharing with you today.
Here’s how it went down…
Last month, Lauren was inducted into the National Technical Honor Society (NTHS) for her achievements at the Huot Technical Center she’s been attending on top of her regular High School curriculum. Through this, she was introduced to and found an interest in Chiropractic Medicine, which is what she intends to study in college this fall.
The 30 students being inducted that night, were invited to introduce themselves and choose a theme for their short speech from one of the NTHS 6 core values - Lauren chose RESPONSIBILITY. While some others chose the same topic, Lauren’s take on it was unique, leaving us beaming with pride and the audience feeling a bit of a light bulb moment.
Here’s what she wrote:
We all at some time or another intend to achieve or do something in our life. Whether or not we achieve what we intend to do is up to us. Whether or not we should feel responsible for what we intend lies on what those intentions are. Both intentions and actions come with responsibility. We may feel responsible for what we intend only if what we are intending to do was already our responsibility. For example, when I intended to study for my test but never did. Of course I feel responsible for that, it’s my responsibility to study so I can achieve a good grade. I have extra studying to do to make up for the lost time. Even though I intended to do something, and never did, the responsibility of me having to make up study time still remains.
Since no time capsule has yet to be invented, there is no way to take back our actions. If you intend to do something, you need to be willing to take responsibility for those actions. You are the only one responsible for yourself. No one else can take the responsibility for your actions. If you think before you act, you have the option on whether or not you are going to bear the responsibility for something. Individuals have the right to choose whether to bear responsibility for the actions they take or choose not to act at all. Responsibility is not only derived from the decision that is actually made, but is also derived from decisions that could have been made.
I take full responsibility for my actions, and I naively expect others to do the same. Sorry, but I take too much pride in working for what I want out of life instead of sitting back and blaming others for what I don’t have. In the same respect, if I screw up, I admit that I screwed up. It is not anybody’s fault but my own. Others may influence my decisions, but ultimately, I am the one that makes the final choice to be responsible. When we are faced with a decision, we must consider all that is before us in order to make the best possible choice. We will be held responsible for the decisions we make and for the decisions we did not make.
Beautiful right? I realize I may be biased, but I and I think others in the room were really impressed with her takeaway - that she has to be responsible for herself and her own decisions, and can’t let others' decisions, impacts, and opinions have any impact on her. Lauren has learned an invaluable lesson that she shared that night…If I’m not responsible for myself, I’m not gonna get the results I want.
Isn’t that what it’s all about? Radical Personal Responsibility. We don't get the results we want until we honor our vision, hopes, and dreams and take responsibility to make that happen. We cannot allow excuses or other people’s choices to pause us, derail us, or change our minds when we don't want to. Responsibility helps us to hold ourselves accountable.
I share this with you today because that’s the work we need to do as leaders and in our businesses - stop the madness of comparisons, self judgment, and blaming others!
Instead, say to yourself, “If I’m not getting the results I want, who’s responsible for that? I am.” We have to be very discerning in our time, our work, and frame of mind on a regular basis. Taking responsibility holds us steady for the things we’re trying to accomplish. And, when things aren’t going as planned, dig in and excavate where our responsibilities are falling off the map.
Where are you not holding true personal and radical responsibility for yourself and your work? Take notice of that and learn from it. It will allow you to look at where you’re at, where you want to go, what you need to do to get there. All that other garbage like old patterns, beliefs, and judgements can fall away.
Need some support in taking responsibility for your dreams? Lauren’s not available 🤪, but I am! Grab a chat with me HERE.