10 Years and Celebrating!
Have you ever looked at the clock while waiting in line at the DMV or stuck in traffic and wondered how on earth time was moving so slowly? But then, conversely, you all but blink, ten years have gone by, and your oldest has graduated from high school and dreaming into her big future.
It’s astonishing how time works (another topic for another day) and I love taking time to sit back and reflect on all that’s transpired. I find using moments and milestones to look back helps me to appreciate, move forward, and get even clearer on my vision for the future.
As we celebrate the 10th Anniversary of JMG, I wanted to share with you some of the lessons learned on this journey, in hopes to inspire you in yours as well.
How It Started
In 2012, I left my corporate job and stepped into the entrepreneurial space. I walked away from six figures, benefits, a steady paycheck, and a 401K. I wanted to focus on raising my kids (three of them under the age of ten) and being present with them. I wanted to be available to help my husband with the business he built with his father. At the time, his father needed to focus on healing from a workplace injury that limited him physically. We didn’t know of the struggle until after we took over the business, this was an unforeseen shocking entry to the journey ahead.
I was stressed, overwhelmed, and scared. I was taking the leap from stable to scary with zero income apart from two small projects I’d secured prior to leaving. I didn’t know I was in over my head, but I was. Yet another shock to the system when reality hit three months in.
I entered into the ever-so-familiar “survival” mode.
Within just a years time, I’d worked myself back into a job. I was working excessive hours between JMG and our construction business, easily over 70 a week.
I was virtually moonlighting for JMG business because I’d overcommitted to doing all the things, and put my head down to ensure I got the results I was forcing myself to get.
As I was trying to get JMG’s feet underneath it, I was sucked into our business, Clearwater Construction, taking priority and I couldn’t get the systems I needed to successfully manage the workload without plunging even deeper into survival mode.
My husband and I were being driven further apart by the stress and lack of presence and I was disconnected in my marriage and life. Filled with feelings like everything was way harder than it should be, massive imposter syndrome, embarrassment over the constant pretending and facade and guilty and shameful for having left my job in the first place.
I tell you what, this was all a massive breeding ground for resentment around the fact that I felt I was doing all of this all alone.
Years Three and Four: A Change of Pace
In 2014, we sold our house and moved to Gilford, NH. We’d had a year of losing family relationships, friends, and employees (two in one year, both to the same company).
New location, same feelings of defeat. Hard truths have a way of following you no matter where you move to. Only now I had to face it all without the support of my community, as I fit into a new one. I was desperate for friends and missing what we had before.
While my husband’s business remained the priority, I finally started to feel a little hope that JMG was “actually” a business! It was a strong, but messy force.
I still felt it was all on me, and felt extremely alone. I focused a lot of my energy on the one thing I felt I could control which was my fitness, but I was functionally depressed and just barely showing up.
I hit a wall and I’d had enough.
I desired to be a wife again, not a business partner, and we started to hire support for my husband’s business, which gave me more space to grow my own dream. I grew my time, hiring someone to help me, and I elevated my client base to be individuals more invested and goal-driven. I raised my rates for the first time since 2012, began working with a big client, and created systems and documented procedures that would help this business grow and be sustainable for the long term.
Things were starting to look up for JMG and my kids were beginning to adjust to the move, but I still was desperate to be happy and had no idea how to get there.
As you can probably imagine, I cried… a lot.
Time to Hire a Coach
In 2015, I hired a coach. I was determined to choose happiness and began digging myself out slowly as I entered my 40th year.
I finally gave JMG the priority in my life it deserved, creating a website for it, hiring an intern, upleveling our quality of design, and giving it more value.
Our family took a beautiful trip to Punta Cana, DR in April for our first journey together out of the country. Later that year, Matt and I traveled to Napa Valley for my 40th birthday with five couples and I could clearly start to see abundance in our lives. I began allowing myself to shift from survival mode to possibility and dreaming. My marriage was starting to feel like it was getting more grounded and I even began making some new friends!
It felt like the storm was passing…
And it continued on this trajectory for awhile. It was the first time I felt like I had less on my plate and could openly declare what my vision was. My first child left to attend a private boarding school as a day student and we started a major home remodel to expand our space. Prior to this, I didn’t even know what “space” even meant. Dropping her off meant driving 35 minutes to and from, alone. Just me, my thoughts, and a couple of really good podcasts 4-5 days a week for nine months. It was in listening to podcasts that I was opened up to possibilities I had never even dreamed of for my business, vision, structure, and systems. One solid year of bingeing ideas and trainings was helping me to gather proof of what was possible.
As a result, opportunities began opening up left and right.
The Thing About Growth Is…
It’s never over. And when you’re a growth-minded visionary, you can appreciate the abundance you have while also yearning to learn more and create the reality you crave even more.
I focused on my own emotional health as well as my kids, and self-development and growth.
We decided to partner with another local company to create a larger joint venture and a vision that pooled our best skill sets together. This was intended to allow the dynamic of our marriage to grow and repair, though as I went from now owning two businesses to five, it looked a whole lot like me trying to do it all for him or be the boss of him when it came to his own business.
This wasn’t a good dynamic for our relationship, and I could feel that pull again as we drifted apart.
Finally, I had to realize that the more deeply I encouraged him that I could see his success, the more he shrank back. It wasn’t up to me to choose his path for him. He had to envision it for himself. It can be one of the hardest things in your relationship to admit to yourself that your spouse’s happiness isn’t your responsibility. Even if you “know” the tools they need to get there.
I was trying new things in JMG and in guiding other business owners in their own businesses. The desire to scale came to life inside me as I could really start to see the possibility of what this could be!
#2020
Need I say more?
The pandemic offered a chance for me to reconnect with myself, get present, and find deep healing.
I spent the entire Summer of 2020 in Maine and had a chance to go within and emerge finding my voice, and with a renewed sense of desire to go all in. There was so much freedom in the possibilities ahead.
I launched my podcast on September 1st, restructured my business into an LLC, hosted masterminds, and really kicked it up a notch with my 1:1 coaching. I was also in an amazing flow with my team, and loving it.
As many of you did, I had to pivot an in-person event (CEO Live) to virtual and I wasn’t sure how it would go. It went off far better than I could’ve imagined and opened me up to visibility and sharing with more women in business how they could do it too!
2021: The Year of the Purge
After the rock your socks off year we’d had in 2020, I couldn’t have anticipated what was to come next. But suddenly, my personal life demanded my full presence and attention.
This is where the magic was, though.
While I entered into a time of deep self unraveling and rediscovering my worth, my team covered EVERYTHING in JMG. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I basically worked three hours a week for an entire five months while I paused and focused on my family, my kids, and my needs.
We had scaled our systems to a level that my team didn’t need me in the everyday operations so I could take this massive reflection period that I needed.
I had to face some of my biggest fears from my marriage to my fears of rejection and abandonment. I had to reevaluate my boundaries and learn to honor my needs.
This was one of the hardest years I’ve ever experienced - and I was beyond grateful to have the team by my side that allowed my business to thrive while I was giving my attention to my personal life.
How It’s Going
As 2022 begins to unfold, I’m celebrating 10 years in my business. It’s hard to believe. Part of me feels like it went by in a flash, and another part of me feels like it was two decades rolled into one.
I’m understanding more about what needs my care the most, both in my business and my life.
I’m getting clarity on what I need, what I want to offer, and understanding how to create stronger alignment in my messaging.
The question I sit with as I envision my future, and the next steps is, “What do I need to feel fully supported?”
I’m launching new services and an exciting new offering but one of the most important lessons I I’m learning is that the journey is the dream, not the destination. That reflection has given me proof to grasp the faith and trust that I’m always provided for. When my business needs my attention, my personal life will coast. When my personal life needs my attention, my business is designed to support that.
I’m learning that I am the core of it all and when I honor my needs, the rest falls into place. This is the new level of flow I’m navigating and embracing the learning that is still to come.
No matter where you are in your journey, one, three, five, seven, ten years… two months in, keep going. Stay deeply committed to your goals, hopes, dreams, and what you see for your life. Pay attention to where you’re committed that isn’t in alignment and always be willing to ask the hard questions that will shine light on your truth.
I would love to hear if any of this story resonated with where you are on your path.