Crawling Out of Imposter Syndrome

The She Built This Lakes Region event was really something amazing last Thursday with close to 140 women nestled into the beautiful Lakeport Opera House. The panelists, including myself, shared thoughts, and reflections to some really fantastic questions. I could go on and on about the event, the energy, and the experience, but really I want to share one of my biggest takeaways.

Someone in the audience asked if any of us on the panel ever faced or struggled with IMPOSTER SYNDROME.

I responded “YES!” immediately.

Then I followed up with the following shallow explanation that I felt called to dive deeper into today.

I started my journey as a business owner in a state of survival with my head down doing all the things. There was never space in my experience to compare myself not only to others, but to myself (be it a previous version of myself or the future version I was striving for.)

I had learned that people will fret that they are not successful and are an imposter if they are not able to hit the $1M mark. It was not until 2019 that I realized that people even focused on that as a form of validation or success!

Thing is…when I discovered this, I asked “what do you mean?” You see, one Million in one year or over a period of time, is all relative. The same year we started Clearwater Construction, we cleared $1M easily. We were building houses, and for me in a part time effort, I hit the $1M mark in year three. Who cares?! How is that really a measure of validation? And that was just one example that came to mind while I sat on that stage last week.

I loosely continued to state, if we just slow down and focus on our effort, we have so much to celebrate because – who are we not to? Why wouldn’t we?

I went on to share that I was feeling the Imposter Syndrome more so in recent years, as my marriage of 20 years faced some challenges, and my kids were navigating some really difficult times (as most teens are, coming out of the pandemic). As a result, I withdrew from authentic visibility and working in my business. Thankfully the dream to grow my business to run without me 100% of the time came of value in a time like this.

But the Imposter Syndrome set in…who am I to be visible, lead women to grow their business to service their best life when mine was in what felt like a disaster zone? Who am I?

My mission of service was not feeling aligned to my reality, and I was most definitely an imposter.

And then, with some work and some strong reflections from my trusted mentors (when I finally was brave enough to say this out loud), I was able to reframe my truth.

WHO AM I NOT TO!?  Who am I not to show up, share, and guide successful women leaders to grow, design, and scale their business for their best life?

When we show up, we are motivated by our dreams, and that is really a successful driver to put in the hard work. And then, at the same time, who am I not to share that LIFE HAPPENS. Period. The good, the bad, the ugly.

What if I was the example that by doing the work for the big dream, we are also doing the work for whatever life has to bring us. Because let’s face it…life happens.

I know this all too well, from losing my Dad at the age of 12, to putting myself through college, to living homeless for 3 months with 3 little kids (that is a story for another time), from paying $35k for one year of private school and saying “this is not for us,” to pulling back to be present with my family at a time when they and I needed it most. I also sprinkled in some amazing Maine summers, tropical vacations, and shopping sprees, but regardless… it is life.

Facing that space of being an imposter to flipping the script to “Oh yes I can, And I am going to” was what motivated me to keep going with co-hosting the She Built This Lakes Region event last week.

Part of the imposter syndrome was also not being ready to share the truth that my life at times is messy, my marriage at times is messy, raising kids at times is messy, and there was a time that my business was messy. But isn’t that the beauty of life?

There comes a time when we need to get organized, flip the script and drop the judgment. I did, and as a result we gathered as a community in a beautiful space with impressive and transparent connection.